Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
