she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Every concussion has its silver lining
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize