I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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