did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
