It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
