dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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