I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
