I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
