you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I love having hate sex.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
