The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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