Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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