I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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