vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
