Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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