i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
