At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
