Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
