i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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