Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
