hell yes lets make some ravioli
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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