The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
