2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
