I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
