Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
