u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
