I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
