We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
