this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
only if we run a train.
done.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
