I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
