So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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