I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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