i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
