I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
