roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
