I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
