I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
