It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
