life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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