I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
