I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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