dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
