I think my vagina is haunted
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
