Cold hands, warm shart.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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