Whod you bang
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
