Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
