I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
They have beer where we have blood.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
