I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
