I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
