Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
