Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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