end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Where is the hickey?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
