i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
