You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize