She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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