ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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