lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
