I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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