And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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