last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
