i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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