the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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