My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
